Resolving Resolutions

As we bring in the new year, thoughts will automatically turn to the upcoming months and, more often than not, how we’re going to make the next 365 days better than the last. This will usually come in the way of resolutions, and even for those like me who are generally against such things, it’s hard not to see these first few days as a viewing post for the upcoming year from which to work out how to put things into place to make it the very best it can be.

Being pregnant as Big Ben chimes in 2018 is an interesting one because what’s to come this year is so very mapped out and yet so very not. It’s difficult to not focus on a fast-approaching birth and do away with all the other things that might be of importance because, of course, my main wishes for 2018 are generally around keeping this little one happy and healthy. So while I’ve got this very definite thing happening this year, I also have this very indefinite thing happening. There are infinite outcomes to an event that feels very certain, and so looking forward feels very much like reading in a foreign language, I can pick out a few things but know none of the detail.

The usual resolutions don’t really apply this year. Losing weight isn’t an option with an ever-growing bump, giving up alcohol has been my life for bloody months now, and exercising more is, well, let’s just say I’m now out of breath putting on a pair of tights. This year will instead have to be about embracing the things that I can do. There are things I definitely want to be more mindful of as my due date hurtles towards me. Being a bit healthier now I’m past the unlimited buffet of Christmas, keeping as active as possible, making sure I also rest up when I can, and finally reading the hypnobirthing book that has been balanced on the sofa arm next to me for months now. But there is also a sense that, although this may sound selfish, I don’t want 2018 to be all about becoming a mum. Having a baby is naturally life-changing, you look at this upcoming event with a realisation that life as you know it won’t be the same again, but that doesn’t mean that your life only then becomes about this one thing. I want to keep writing, I want to keep going out and seeing stuff, I basically want to be the same person I am now, just with a small human being too.

So while 2018 very much feels like the year of new beginnings, they’re beginnings I know very little about so far. I know people tell me to catch up my sleep now, to stock up my freezer, to invest in good nipple cream, but the rest, rather excitingly, is unknown. It’s about keeping an eye on the things I can control and then putting my blind faith in the rest of it. As an actor, I usually look upon a new year in the hope of new challenges without any guarantee of them, but this time round I know there will be plenty, many of which will be covered in vomit and dirty nappies, and they’re already starting.

But, of course, this is all coming from someone who doesn’t do resolutions because my good intentions last as long as it takes for me to resist a family-size bag of crisps. So I think this year has to be about good intentions rather than good resolutions, and just the hope of having a bloody good year, whatever it throws at me.  

Currently in need of...

Yep, we're back to good non-alcoholic drinks. Another shout out to Eisberg wine for getting me through New Year's Eve. With Dry January now in full swing for many people, I'm hoping for a better selection of non-booze alternatives when out and about this month. However, my mind keeps going back to The Wigmore, which we went to a few months ago with another expecting couple, and had one of their Tavern Lemonades. It was blackberry and rosemary and I still keep thinking about it. Honestly, the joy of a genuinely good non-alcoholic drink when everyone else is enjoying their wine, g&ts and beers is a truly magical thing. 

Currently appalled by...

Let's enjoy this moment where I have...*drumroll*...


Fanfares, applause, marching bands, party poppers and Champagne corks flying... This will not last so please, enjoy the party until I start complaining again. 


  1. Keep going - you're doing awesome-ly! (whether or not that's a word)

    Don't forget there's always additional castings for expecting Mamas and new Mamas+newborns.

    The one thing not enough actors think of around having a baby is it's worth asking the local LEA for a copy of the most current Children and Performance regulations (parents are entitled to a copy. Most provide it free. Haven't heard of a stingy area yet) as it also covers rules & regs around newborns and new Mamas working (you get additional facilities and slightly tweaked hours to accommodate and be comfy).


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